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May 27, 2013
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(Contains: sexual themes and strong language)

(Greetings, beautiful people. Yep, i'm back again and ready to read some more crap by everyone's favourite troll, Marissa the writer. I've not read this thing in its entirety yet, but I can safely assume it will be the biggest crap i've read since... the LAST biggest crap this "writer" produced. Lets dive in.)

UPDAT: I missed a few caritures so heers the more compleet list! (Really the best thing to do is check it to make sure you get everyone BEFORE you release it.)

Athors Note: (Who the hell is Athor? Sounds medieval...) Kay gusys, those JERK FMAERZ (And here we go, this is the Marissa I remember.) went to far this tim. They ceroopted teh Admins (They corrupted them by making legitimate complaints about your terrible writing? What assholes.) AN MADE THEM DELEETED ITS MY LIFE AN INVARER ZIM BORM AGAIN CHRISTAN. (And so breathed a collective sigh of relief.) So Im down with (Fanfriction... hah, sounds like a bad porno title.) fourever now. I finded ot that it wasant reglar flame trollz (There are different kinds of flamer trolls? Blue flame, red flame, white flame?) but a spesal groop called "CRITIKS UNITIED". (You've got to be fucking kidding me...) Well theyve bited of more than they can chew! (Considering how often you use the word "feces" in your writing, i'd steer clear of any food you're serving.) My reel fans r revolting (Yes they are.) an in the meen time on this noo plase (Why do I get a dreadful feeling that "noo" instead of "new" will become commonplace this time around?) Ill putted my noo (*gulp*) story THE MARRISSA GAMES.

Its teh officeial seekwill to ITS MY LIFE! (So there were unofficial sequels? Who'd honestly want to continue writing this rubbish?) Get reddy (I'd rather get yellowy.) for INTENSE DRAMAKSHUN, (Dramaction... ok, that's not even remotely clever.) SHOKIN REEVELS, (That will not be shocking in the slightest.) HOT ROMANSE, (Fuck me that brings up so many disgusting images of robot/human porn...) AN MORE TWISTS THAN U CAN SHAK A STIK AT. (I'll do more than shake a stick, i'll beat you to death with it.)

THE MARRISSA GAMES

Pro-log: (That's not even close.) Cariture Bios

Sinse this ibs a noo (So called that...) site Im podsting on, an my REEL FANS (WHOM MUST BE HIGHLIGHTED WITH BLOCK CAPITALS.) may not be all famliar with the HUNGAR GAMES, (If they aren't, they can go do some research on it.) Ill do sum cariture bios of all the caritures so eveyone in on teh same page. (This actually isn't too bad an idea, but it has two major flaws. One, people who've searched this Fanfiction will most likely know of the Hunger Games as is, and two, she gets every single bio wrong. At least for the Hunger Games characters.)

CARITURES BIOS:

MARRISSA ROBERTS - Im Chells sister but more hot an pretty. (And so it begins, all bow to Marissa, our lord of thistle.) I have spesal powers gived to me by the ingineer (Sadly, the Inginiir is not given his own bio.) lick space fly an brething! Aso I have detektive power an MAGA PAWNCH an electic stuff. (Which basically all falls under the same catergory of "powers I need when the plot demands it." No worries folks, I get the feeling little miss perfect will yank a few new ones from her ass before this fic is done.) Im merried to Wheatly an we have a dotter named Chell Junor in onor of my dead sister. (By the last fics logic, she should be named Assiram, in honour of your dead clone.)

WHEATLY THE ROBO BALL (Personality core, is that so hard to type?)- Wheetly is my (Forced.) hubby an we luve eachotter very much. (Rather, she bonked him until he returned her affection.) He gotted arms an legs now from that JERK BOBOT (Even in death, all caps must be used to describe the two evil robots.) Altass dead body copse. (If its a dead body, you probably don't need to refer to it as a corpse too.) Sum JERKS thank hes dum (Yeah, he is. I say this not out of malice but pure fact, Wheatley is dumb.) but Wheatlys not, hes relay brave an is POWERFUL BAD ARSE becos hes got the power of love! (Sappiest shit ever...)

CHELL JUNOR - Me an WHeatlys robot ball/human baby. (We like to call her "Something out of System Shock" for short.) She is veray yung (We can kind of guess that, from the fact she's a BABY.) an doesnt do much yet. (No shit Sherlock.) Mayeb she has my powors? Lol, I havent desided yet. (*Facepalm* This is not going to end well.)

GLaDOS - She is teh biggest mean dum goth emo (If she'd kept that as a list of three, I might've respected her a bit.) computer women ever!212 I killed her fourever (Even though she was alive in space for a few seconds...) an dhw was defeeted an killt by the zomboys from Dead Space. (Then why'd you even write a bio for her?)

RAT MAN - A guy hoo fites the bad robots (Leave this tragic hero of mine alone you sadistic fuck! ;-; )lick GLaDOS an ATLAS AN P-POTY! He replased his man thingys wif BALLS OF STEEL (That Duke Nukem reference is about as funny as Duke Nukem Forever was.) an was lost in spase an died or is he? Winkwhinkstoryplotdevelop (Way to hamfist that one you fucking moron.)

ATLAS AN P-POBDY - To JERK ROBOTS (Who are always reffered to in block capitals.) who aer always smokin drugs an beer an being JERKS. (Are? That raises the possibility they're still alive, that's just confusing.) I killed them fourever affer they shot me in the hed. (...hah, out of context that sentence is hillariously stupid.)

ATBOD AN P-LAS - Altas an P-Bobys good guy kids. (...what? There are MORE human/robot abominations running around?!) P-Body did a abortion becos she isnt pro-life the b***** ( YOU FUCKING... ok, i'm not going to retype a rant here, but go see Chapter 15 of "It's my life!" to see why this sentence infuriates me.) I thot but gess not! (How do you just misjudge whether someone's had an aboriton or not? Fuck me, I don't want to know...) Tehy are good frends of Haymatch.

Now for da new chars! (And so the butchering begins anew.)

PRIMOSE EVERGREEN - (EverDEEN you moron.) A yung gilr hoo is been pikked for the Hunger Games. Seh has a petted gote an cat an has inner strenth that u dont wanna mess with! (Well that wasn't too bad... mostly because she gave the shortest description ever, but so long as she leaves Prim alone, I don't mind. It is odd how she's given the most importance though...)

PEETA PITA SANDWICH EATA - (You would, you just would author...) Hes a hot guy (but I dont lick him lick that (Gotta confirm to everyone I love my robot ball over an actual human being.) my hart (Where IS Corporal Hart when you need her...) only belongs to Wheatly) an the guy Hunger Game. Theres a spesal sumwon hes lookin out for! (Again, fairly brief... that name really annoys me though.)

KANTISS EVERGREEN - (Kantiss... oh fuck you author.) Primp's olderer sister. Shes a dumb an has feekal incontinence so nobody licks her. (There goes the main character folks, degraded from strong and independent rebel to dumbass with some weird disease that sounds real but is so horribly mispelled I will never know what it really is.)

GALE (I FORGOTE HIS LAST NAME SORRY =( - (Then LOOK IT UP.) Kanisss best frend. Hes hidin somethin an waht dose he want with Wheatly?! (Probably to kill him. I'm liking Gale already.) FIND OT INSYDE! 3

PIESENDENT SNOW - Teh baddest dude ever! (Well at least THAT is accurate. Sort of.) Hes the liter of Crits Unitary an the pres of the plase. (You know, shortening the word "President" to "pres" really demeans the title.) He hates Marrissa for some reson (Probably the same reason the rest of us dislike her. For being a freaky, callous bitch.) an he has a BIG seekrit!12 (FOREBOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDE)

CRITICS YOUNTIED -A groop of flmer trollz (I figured this would be one of her little inventions.) hoo did sterods an got superpowaed (Steroids only increase your muscle mass, they don't give you super powers.) up so now theys even wores than the reglar ones! Wif tehere Preisent Snow they taked over the hole plase (You keep using "Place." Be specific damnit!) an a reely meen. (When you keep using words like "Mean" it just makes you look amazingly childish.)

HAYMISH ABERNATY - (One last bit of bastardization.) Da mentor for me an Prime an Peeta Peeta Sandwich Eater in the GAMES. A reel JERK hoos always druggin an beerin wif hes noo (Fuuuuck...) frens ATBOD AN PLAS. (Oh boy, more beer and drug talk... I can't WAIT to see where this goes.)

OK SO THATS ALL THOSE, GET REDDY FOR CHAPTER 1 SOON OK GUYZ? (No... I don't think i'll ever be truly ready.)

(Well, here we go folks. Next time we get stuck right into the meat of this beastie. Please stay tuned... I need support ;-; )

Its back with a vengeance, everyone's favourite Mary Sue Marissa is back to wreak havoc once again.
This is just the character page, so there's not much to comment on, but I don't want to leave any stone un-turned for this crap.
As of now, updates will be coming every Monday, so keep an eye out.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlunarwolfin:
lunarwolfin Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013
I... I want to kill the writer. So much. 
Reply
:iconcadengallic:
CadenGallic Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013
How do you think I feel? -.-
Reply
:iconinsaneguyofdoom:
InsaneGuyOfDoom Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
Hurray! I've been waiting for this for awhile and look forward to the next installment. Oh and trust me, I have a feeling you won't like what happens with Prim.
Reply
:iconcadengallic:
CadenGallic Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
*sigh* No need to crush my hopes so early man :c
Reply
:iconbenji-blacksky:
Benji-Blacksky Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
hmmm
Reply
:iconcadengallic:
CadenGallic Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
Hm?
Reply
:iconbenji-blacksky:
Benji-Blacksky Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
Nothing. For a moment was worried I offended you.
Reply
:iconcadengallic:
CadenGallic Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
Why would you have offended me?
Reply
:iconbenji-blacksky:
Benji-Blacksky Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
I noticed the character Marissa shared a name with one of my OCs. For a sec I thought you meant mine
Reply
:iconcadengallic:
CadenGallic Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
Oh god no, i'm sure your Marissa isn't NEARLY as bad as this one.
Reply
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